What Incels Should Know

Believe me I’ve been there. And I think that many men have. You want to get some but women don’t want to get some with you. Is there hope for incels?

Incel means involuntary celibate. Fifteen years ago that word didn’t exist. You were just an average frustrated chump. To get to poon you just had to grow some balls and go for it. If necessary you improved yourself to be attractive. Examples:

  • Buying decent clothes
  • Practising talking to women
  • Going to the gym and get buffed

When I look at the manosphere and the recent incel trend with a critical eye, I think there are many guys that truly want to have sex with women, but refuse to do the work.

Incels in disguise

They think that they’re entitled to these women. And when these women don’t want them, they blame them. Or worse: some even talk about killing them.

Also, I believe that some “men going their own way” are actually incels in disguise. They use red pill knowledge to justify there stance. For each its own, but in secret they don’t want anything more than making love to a woman. Who are they fooling?

Nerdy guy with Gameboy
Nerdy guy with Gameboy

I do not intend to blame or shame, but I have my thoughts about the so called incels. Also, recently I have watched two videos about this subject. One was made by Sigma Mindset and the other by LFA. And I think that both videos contain a valuable message so I strongly suggest you to watch them.

I think that the best way to tell you my view on incels is by telling a story about myself.

From simp to pimp

There have been times in my life that I was single for a long time. Also, I had a hard time getting a date in my late teens although I had a few short relationships. These all ended quickly because I was a possessive, needy, overly emotional simp.

Good looking fellow
Good looking fellow

There were different reasons why I struggled. The first reason was my dysfunctional family that seriously screwed up my youth. The second reason was my lack of self-esteem. The third reason was my shyness.

Upgrading my looks

Looking back I realize that I was a mess. At the age of 16 I decided to change that. I got a new haircut and upgraded my wardrobe. Surprisingly enough, this helped. At 17 I had my first sexual encounter with a girl, who later dumped me.

I was devastated. And I could not understand what went wrong and why she did that. I was a good looking, but… needy, creepy simp and completely in the dark about women.

To the gym…

I decided to change even more. I joined the gym. Within a year I gained a significant amount of muscle.

Unfortunately, this was not everything. Yes, I got more female attention. Women started to compliment me. But socially I was still nowhere.

..and even PUA

That is when I found PUA. I was about 18/19 years old. I started out on a website called sosuave.com and consumed tons of knowledge about women, dating and female nature.

The hardest part was putting this stuff into practice but I did. I started approaching women in the shopping centre, on the streets and later in bars.

I had befriended some guys that were into the same thing so we hung out together. During that time I was able to get many phone numbers but also many rejections.

But still, I wasn’t there yet!

Let me rephrase what I had already done:

  • Took care of my clothing
  • Got a good haircut
  • Put on some muscle
  • Befriended like-minded guys
  • Worked on approach anxiety
Another good looking guy
Another good looking guy

But there was something missing. I figured out that I needed more serious experiences with women. I needed a girlfriend. Actually, I craved for it.

When I was 20 I met a woman. Our relationship lasted six years. The first years were pure bliss.

When it ended in 2010 I had to reinvent myself. I decided to put on the field boots again and went out there.

Again:optimized my physique and appearance. Also, I befriended outgoing guys so I would actually go to the places where the women are. In the years that followed I had my fair share of women and two relationships.

Bitterness is a choice!

For me, getting laid was important. Even if it gets you nowhere; it’s something I really wanted. If I didn’t go on a crusade for self-improvement I would have become a bitter incel. Maybe I would be a 34-year-old virgin today. The thing is: it is easier to get laid than to fully accept that you won’t.

Looks like a very bitter, miserable guy!
Looks like a very bitter, miserable guy!

In my opinion, refusing to self-improve and be bitter instead has nothing to do with going your own way. It is just choosing to be negative. Yes, I joke a lot about Chad & Tyrone, the cock carousel and the 80/20 rule. Because there is truth in that stuff.


  • Today’s women are promiscuous;
  • There are good looking alpha guys who have sex with literally hundreds of women, while others get nothing;
  • The majority of Western women I do not consider marriage material anymore;
  • And, like most humans they look for the best deal. 
  • I talk about them and joke about them, but…
I refuse to let them make me bitter!

My goal is to always accept the status quo and make the best out of it. The world isn’t fair. Some are dealt a better hand than others. But hey. You want to get laid, don’t you?

No, I am not in the top 10% when it comes to looks. I am not ugly and my body looks fine. But I am short (which I can’t change) and a very slow thinker. Also, I’m quite anxious and neurotic sometimes. 

I just focussed on my strong characteristics, repaired the repairable and accepted what I couldn’t change. It was hard work. And moreover: banging chicks and serial dating is a time waster. I could have done much better things with my time.

But I got laid. That’s for sure. And not only that: the process, the positivity, the challenges, the people I’ve met… it was a great adventure.

You are entitled to nothing  

Seriously, guys, if you are fat, smelly, lazy and socially awkward; is it really so strange that women do not want to have sex with you?

My brutally honest answer is: no. That’s not strange at all. You’re not entitled to their bodies.

Currently I am a fairly good version of myself. But I don’t think that I am somehow entitled to the 9’s and 10’s because of that. If I was, then they would be standing at my doorstep, don’t you think? Well, they don’t.

I tried Tinder for a while. And I got matches with mostly average women. If I was so great, than the hottest women would have swiped right as well, right?

The truth is: you are entitled to nothing.

I haven’t dated for 2 years.

The first year was because of the red pill rage. A bad relationship and breakup directly induced that rage. It was one big red pill. And at that point I had lost all hope with women. The rage phase was necessary to accept a lot of harsh truths.

The second year I lost the rage, focussed on self-actualization and ended up starting The Solitary Wolf.

I have refused to get bitter. On the contrary. I think my relationships with the women in my environment have improved. Learning about female nature lead to understanding on my part, and also to acceptance.

You decide what to do with the truth

Sometimes I think to myself: well, Wolf, you are turning into an incel yourself. Well, maybe. 

True monk mode!
True monk mode!

I choose monk mode right now because I want to focus on improving myself and my life. That’s me going my own way. I’m just way more productive when I’m single. I’ve had my fun in my twenties and doing that same stuff in my thirties is really just a waste of time. But I must admit that I miss the female touch sometimes. 

The thing is that I know what I have to do to get a woman. Also, I’m aware that when I’d go out there that I’ll have to train myself again. Socializing is a muscle, you know, and you have to work it to make it strong.

But now, I choose not to. I’ve reduced my thirst for poon but I kept the will to improve. I have moved away from trying to impress women, to trying to impress myself.

What it all boils down to is this:

Truth is a double edged sword. You can’t change reality but you can change your attitute towards reality.

You can use truth for misery or you can use truth for happiness. My way is using truth for the latter.

An incel chooses the former. He learns about these red pill concepts. Then he completely focusses on them and even obsesses over them. The next step: he bases his identity on them. Et voilà: the incel is born.

When you are a man and you have no access to sex (except prostitutes) ask yourself this question and be sincere:

Do you want to have sex with a woman?

If the answer is no, well, then you have become a voluntary celibate. Which is fine.

If the answer is yes, well, DO something about it!

It’s that simple.

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4 thoughts on “What Incels Should Know”

  1. Sorry to hear you had to experience the red pill rage stage of this but you worked through it remarkably well! I am very lucky in that I never got badly burned by women but still came to be MGTOW after realizing they’re all kinda the same and not to take them too seriously. I still enjoy the occasional fling but no longer make it any kind of top priority. It’s very liberating. Love the blog man!

    1. Thanks for the compliment man! Yeah, that red pill rage was more of an accumulation of many experiences actually. But that last relationship surely was the final drop.

      Everyone has their own reasons to go MGTOW and none are less valid than the other I think. I hear stories from people going through the meat grinder and stuff like that… probably much, much worse than what I have gone through in regards to women.

      Anyway, good for you. I think that’s a healthy mindset.

  2. I agree with almost everything you said, Wolf. But not all incels are are fat, ugly and unemployed. Through my own experience, I figure half of all those identifying as incel are actually good, honest, hardworking young men who for their entire lives have watched as their female contemporaries chased after dishonest, cruel cheats, a.k.a bad boys, and all the while never even once considered them as a romantic partner. And it makes them angry. They don’t understand how women can be so foolish.

    1. Hi, I don’t think all incels are fat, ugly, et cetera. I understand what you’re saying. But there are more factors at play than only looks / income. Social anxiety plays a role. Also, many of these guys are ‘nice guys’. The nice guy approach often doesn’t work.

      Many women indeed like bad boys. That’s a big red pill to swallow for some. The question is: what are they going to do with that truth?

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