What would be the best dating advice for men over 30? If you are interested, then read this article!
DISCLAIMER: articles with the MGTOW ANALYSIS label tend to be satircal and over the top. No hate intended.
Recently I had a YouTube subscriber called inthezone666 asking me to do a video about dating above 30. Thanks for asking! Also, you ask for the pros and cons about dating above 30 specifically. It think that’s a difficult question, because I don’t really know your preferences.
What I can do is telling you my experiences and observations. Then, you can decide for yourself what you consider pros and what you consider cons.
The Wild Twenties
Me, I’m 34 years old, and two years ago my relationship ended which lasted 2 years and after that I didn’t really plunge back into the sea to find another fish. A huge difference between the twenties and thirties that I currently experience, is that it isn’t hard at all to not date. And I experience this on different levels.
Declining sex drive
First of all, my desire to have sex with women is decreased. Perhaps it’s a natural thing, perhaps it’s mental. It’s still there, but I simply feel less motivated to throw myself out there chasing poon. The second level is that the world is also less motivated to come to me. In my twenties my phone was ringing off the hook when the weekend approached.
Everyone is getting settled
And I think this is a big difference for many men that surpass that magical border between the twenties and thirties; many of their buddies are settled. Some are busy with work, building their careers, others have started a family. When you are in your twenties, you often are very much part of a certain scene.
For me, I was always hanging around in the city center in the weekends, drinking and partying. Especially when I was single. At one point, most of the personnel of different bars knew me. And many of your buddies are part of that scene as well, and through that scene you meet new people, and, of course women
Where are all the great parties?
Also, your twenties is the time that many people throw parties, and I mean fun parties, not these parties on a Sunday afternoon when everyone is sitting on a chair with a piece of cake and a cup of coffee from the host’s brand new Nespresso machine, while staring at some noisy kids running around. I mean the parties on a Saturday night where the cheap cans of beer are piled up, where crazy stuff happens, and when the last people leave when the sun comes up in the morning.
Twenties vesus thirties
I have a difficult time putting this into words; but I think that in your twenties you are far more connected with your peers; the mindset is far more collectivistic. People, men and women, seem to be more equal; status, money, career… those things were still something for the future. Money wasn’t really an issue: everyone around you is equally poor and equally enjoys the small things in life.
Cheap nights out
One period in my life I was short on money and so was a friend of mine, so we invented a concept called Ten Euro Nights Out. What we did was that we bought the cheapest wine in the supermarket and 1 pack of cigarettes. Then we got drunk and arrived to the bar around 2 AM, both with 10 euros in the pocket. The bars close at 4 AM, and a beer was around 2 euros at the time, which meant that we had 5 beers each for two hours. Sounds reasonable, right?
Sometimes we begged the bar personnel for a free beer if we happened to find some dimes in our pockets, or persuaded women to buy us one. It was loads of fun and we didn’t care.
Also, dating, kissing, sex, stuff like that happened way more on the fly. If someone thought you are attractive, than you just went on a date, had a good time, nothing too serious, got drunk, and if you were lucky you landed in the bedroom. Or you had an occasional one night stand after you met a woman in a bar or at a party. I mean, yolo. Again, these were my experiences and observations. Yours might be completely different.
Men hit the wall too
But when I approached the age of thirty, many things started to change. I was thirty years old when I entered another relationship and I noticed that the rules of the game were altered. Things became more serious and more future oriented. And I saw that happen around me. Everywhere. Friends were talking about serious stuff, like having kids, making promotions, marriage, you know the things that gives a guy like me the shivers.
The guy I was talking about in the 10 euro story, got a very, very good career, is happily engaged and has a kid. And this guy is like 3 years younger than me. Two other friends have a kid as well. My ex of six years has two kids. People in their thirties have gotten different objectives. This means that women get different objectives, which means a great change in the dating game. This truly hit me when I got single again at age 32.
Women over 25
In general, women over 25 start to look at men in a different way. Most likely they have spent their early twenties in party mode; after 25 it’s time to say goodbye to Chad and Tyrone and aim towards settling down with a good, hardworking beta provider. Many women of 30 and above, already have a kid or two. I see it when I’m swiping away on Tinder: so many single moms on there. It’s actually really demotivating. And every time I look at a picture of such a woman, look at the eyes, I hear a voice “give me your resources”.
And that’s what women above 25 are increasingly geared towards: resources. I don’t know about you inthezone666, but I certainly don’t have much resources, nor a great career. Not even a car. With the current state of affairs, I wouldn’t really be able to support a wife and children. Yes, I can find another job, work more, but I don’t want to. I value the free time I have at the moment to focus on my creative pursuits. But how does this attitude affect dating?
We all know that women hit the wall; men hit the wall too. And men hit the wall hard when they are of a certain age and have missed the boat; when everyone around them is working good jobs, buying a house, marrying, having kids… basically, they have connected to the thirty plus social pipeline. A world of children’s parties, baby showers, wine tasting, jogging, high teas…It’s the lifestyle that many women AND men have embraced.
If you don’t engage in such activities, you are the odd one out. Women see you as a threat, because you haven’t upgraded to an adult man yet. You are basically still a kid in their eyes. Only if you meet a number of the criteria like having a good career or resources than you are free to connect yourself to the thirty plus social pipeline. Then you get your share of women to choose from.
No room for man boys
But if you’re still a manboy, then there’s no room for you on their high wines, couple’s cooking evenings, playing board games on new year’s eve, or any other extremely enjoyable activities 30+ people are supposed to do. Another thing is that by your youthly presence, women know that their men could get these dangerous feelings of nostalgia. Women see this as a threat, because male feelings of nostalgia to a carefree past of fun, partying and hanging out with buddies will bring the female thought police in the highest state of alert. They will wipe out those evil ideas like the Bolsheviks wiped out the counter-revolutionaries during the Red Terror.
Marriage is a bit like prison, but without sex. And if you cross a line, you’ll get waterboarded by buckets of nagging, complaining fluids with the stench of rotten shrimp, every day. This goes on until you repent for your sins by praying to God… ehhmm… I mean by acting like a cash dispenser. Sorry for my lame jokes (more to come).
Getting some in your thirties
So what about online dating? Well, online dating sucks when you are in your thirties, because most women that look for men in their thirties, look for guys they can settle down with. So the ability to provide has become your most important asset. This makes it quite difficult to attract women when you are short on resources.
So basically, they see you as the guy who doesn’t have his shit together. They considered you as leftovers, so all you will get are leftovers. So I don’t know how you see this, inthezone666, but this is how I have observed things the last few years. And again, this is a generalization. Let’s not think in absolutes; there are exceptions.
However, this doesn’t mean that you should be an incel. Let’s explore some options.
I know a few 30 year old guys killing it on Tinder, either by getting younger women, women their own age that just want sex – usually crazy or newly single – or they get a milf. I’m not sure how they do it: I haven’t had much success on Tinder so far. Also, about 80 percent of women that appear on my screen are above 28 and many of them are single moms. Yuck!
I have seen guys my age dating women my age, and usually they are jaded by past experiences. Also, chances are big that they have done all the rides in Six Dicks Over Texas including the Silver Star Cock Carousel. There are also women out there that want children so bad that they seek to be impregnated by the first guy that shows interest in them that they perceive as good enough. Don’t be that man. It’s a recipe for disaster.
Another option is speed dating. And I think if you are looking for love, this is not a bad option. It’s one of the few things I have done when it comes to dating last two years, the other one is setting up that Tinder profile recently, and I think that this is a good way to meet a large amount of women in person in a short time. In my opinion, it’s way better than Tinder, which is just based on a few photos.
I ended up with quite a few matches, which surprised me. Unfortunately, I wasn’t very motivated to contact these women and none of them contacted me either, so it died out. But if you are lucky you’ll meet someone there. I’ve seen it happen around me, so it’s possible.
Semi Public spaces
Another idea are these semi-public spaces. Last few weeks, if the weather was good enough, I went to an outside study space on my old university campus, which is a like 5 minutes by bicycle from my home. It’s often quite busy there, and they some plug connections that you can use for free for your laptop and mobile phone, so I can work on my scripts there in the open air. There are many women walking around, although most of them are quite young. In many cases: girls love to have a short intermission after hours of studying. But beware of purple haired feminists or those #metoo brainwashed lunatics that will shout “rape” if you even look them in the eye.
Another option is the workplace, but I’d be very careful doing that. I’ve dated a girl from work once. It’s great when it’s great, but when the relationship is over things will become sour very quickly. I’d simply just avoid it.
The easiest thing for me has always been going to bars and start talking with some random women over there. The thing is that I rarely go out these days. I’m not seeking to get drunk every week because those hangovers are only getting worse when you get older. With me they last a few days. Also, because of your age that bar you went when you were 25, isn’t what it’s just to be anymore. You’re one of the oldies now. So either way you try to blend in with the young ones. This is no problem for me because I look very young for my age – or you find out the places were all the older women go. Don’t forget to take a clothespin for the tuna scent.
Bottom line is: when you are in your thirties, especially when you have missed the boat, you need to put more effort into meeting women.
Choosing your path
Personally, I’m a guy that just doesn’t want to settle for less. In my twenties I created a certain standard when it comes to women, nothing unreasonable, so I’m not planning to settle for an ugly woman or a single mom. Realistically, I know that my dating chances are slim at the moment when it comes to women my age, because I’m currently not capable and willing to start a family. If you are in that position as well, inthezone666, then I think you have a few options to consider:
.. and eventually settle for a land whale. If you’re into facesitting by BBW women than certainly go for this one. The disadvantage is that you’ll spend 50% of your time browning your nose. The other 50% you are working on the plantation to pay for her McDonalds and her triple whoppers with cheese from Burger King. So you won’t have any time for self-actualization while unhappily eating your happy meal.
Get drunk every weekend…
..and hit on the girls in their early twenties, while you are not getting forward in life because you’re in a perpetual hangover. Also, it’s great if you still look a bit young to pull this off. Although, some of the young ones actually like greying men or bald men. In my opinion, this is a much better option than sitting at home accompanied by whining hippo wearing a Hillary Clinton mask.
Focus on yourself, and date on the side
Unless you are a very desperate incel or a virgin; then you might put your emphasis on getting laid. Assuming you are not, and you don’t mind a dry spell if that’s what the Almighty God has in store for you, than I think you better are better off focussing on improving your life. Now is the time to do it! It might not feel this way, but a man in his thirties is still a pretty young guy, and there are so many dragons for you to slay! Also, you can still get children when you are forty.
Time to wrap it up. Me, I’m completely absorbed in my creative pursuits right now. I love making content for this channel, for example. If I’d be out chasing tail all the time, I wouldn’t be able to do this the way I do now. Also, I have plenty of time to work out and get some good quality sleep. I rather focus on being successful and passionate about a certain purpose.
My channel has grown from 100 to around 5000 subscribers within a few weeks. And the feedback I get, all the comments, the compliments really warm the heart. The idea that my work entertains men around the globe really encourages me to go on with the journey that I’ve embarked on. Especially towards the men that are in difficult positions right now,
If you are passionate about something and go for it in a disciplined manner, you will get good at it and eventually you will be successful. It doesn’t matter if you fail a couple of times. Not being a desirable man can be a blessing in disguise; it will save you a lot of time and energy to do precisely this. While some married men end up being mere shells of their former selves, you’ll grow stronger in solitude, and your increased strength will only make you more desirable to women. Thus, sooner or later will find yourself in a win-win situation.