After a traumatizing event, after a great loss of some sort, after the swallowing the red pill, it is inevitable that we see the world in a different light.
And that what we have witnessed cannot be unseen. In some cases we hit bottom. And hitting bottom means that we go through a shift in thinking, and that we are able to rearrange our lives, change our habits and alter our norms and values. What gave us purpose in the past, doesn’t give us purpose anymore. And the things we attached importance to, change.
The barrel of confidence
My younger brother went to rehab two years ago for this addictions. He learned the concept of filling your barrel of confidence, assuming, of course, that your confidence is low and that you gradually build it up. Now, in my opinion, confidence is nothing more than an accumulation of achievements that makes you aware of your abilities.
Example A: if your living space is a mess, and always has been, you will not very confident about your abilities to keep your living space clean. Solution? Start cleaning up.
Example B: if you never even tried to prepare a decent meal, you will not be very sure if you are actually able to prepare a decent meal. Solution? Start cooking.
Example C: if you always have had problems talking to women, you will not be very confident that you will attract them in the future. Solution? Start talking to women.
Small victories are the key
These may all be small things, but if you would tackle them one by one, your overall confidence will grow up if those small things are pushing you into the direction that you want to go. In the case of my brother, he had to start doing small things like doing the dishes, cleaning the bed, up to bigger things like going to the gym and find a job. And slowly, this barrel started to fill. He relapsed unfortunately, so he has never seen his barrel full. I wish he did. And I wish we all do as men.
I strongly recommend you watching this video by HuMAN:
The old definition of confidence
Personally, if still have a long way to go. And I think we all have to start defining what we want to fill our barrels with. We can throw the old blue pill plantation gear out of the window. That’s what the old barrel was all about. It was about pandering to women, servitude, being the most dominant peacock.
White knighting is a whole dominance hierarchy itself. And, I think, one of the purest forms of dominance hierarchies we see today, in which men compete to impress the women, by rescuing her from his evil gender.
Vajayjay: a man’s kryptonite
There is nothing that influences men as much as a woman. Just walk into an office environment. I work part time in such an environment, and when I’m together with my male colleagues a safespace, a brotherhood is established in an instant. It’s fascinating to see. But when there are women around, especially the more attractive ones, the dynamic changes.
Some of the men suddenly are willing to attack you or embarrass you, just to climb a little higher in the hierarchy to impress the woman. It’s like a circus act. And the best actor wins the validation of the woman present.
Dogs fighting for a bone
In the office where I work such behavior isn’t profitable. The majority of the women are either taken, or refuse to date the men in our department because they are looking at higher status males; men that are above them in salary and prestige.
So these men are fighting for a bone that none of them will ever get; something I consistently refuse to do. And no, my indifference doesn’t necessarily lead to paradoxically attracting the females because I’m so cool or mysterious or whatever. It’s leads to questions, to mockery, to pity, to being talked about behind your back perhaps.
Shaming and projection
It’s mainly the women that start asking you if I am dating. I had several female coworkers telling me that I “deserved a woman” and that they would “grant me a nice girlfriend”. What a joke. Like getting a woman is the ultimate blessing a man can have. But, of course, you must be worthy as man to be granted such a blessing.
I think it’s mainly the projection of what their own barrel of confidence if all about. By my own experiences with women I have come to believe that women truly feel incomplete without a man and without children, and that they projecting this unto us, men.
Can men be alone?
But history has taught us that men are perfectly able to be alone. Just look at all the hermits among men. Just look at the old desert fathers, for example, who took refuge in the desert to be alone and gain new insights. Look at Nikola Tesla who completely devoted his life to his work and abstained from women.
Although women are able to live separated from men in monasteries in some religious traditions, no sane woman in our current society would choose that lifestyle now. No. Their barrel of confidence is about the perfect man, the perfect house, the perfect car, having children, and at the same time they should be travelling, discovering themselves, having girl’s nights out, so basically being free and independent. These women have a barrel with a hole in it. And trying to fill that barrel is simply insane.
The blue pill tragedy
Nonetheless, many blue pill men are engaging in this unfinishable task and are unaware that the are modern personifications of Sisyphus, the man that was punished to push a huge rock uphill, which would roll back down after reaching the top, so he had to push it up again.
My point is: don’t be like Sisyphus. I’d say that we never touch that rock again, that we define our own goals, our own values and that we create our own game plan. Let’s start building ourselves up again.
Some of us may have been defeated, others may have been utterly destroyed. But if you let the blue pill world decide our values, confidence will mean nothing but an empty shell with the sole purpose of conformity.