Hello lone wolves, how are you doing? Today I want to talk about a piece written in my favorite magazine Bolde by a woman who has some good advice for us, which is: guys, stop being lazy!
And I will a question by a patron about lucid dreaming. But first, I want to share an important message from my sponsor:
Now, let get into the first topic brought to you by a question from doTPurge. He says:
“Dear Solitary Wolf. I am a lucid dreaming practitioner; What a blast. Have you invested in this particular study/exploration of the mind, yourself?”
DoTPurge, thanks for your question and your Patreon pledge.
Yes, I have practised lucid dreaming many years ago. For those who don’t know: lucid dreams are dreams in which you are aware. It is like virtual reality in your head: you can basically travel in your dreams: do whatever you want to do and go where you want to go.
My interest started when I was about 17 years old. Initially, getting into lucid dreaming was not my intention. I will explain how it started.
At the age of 17 I I started to hit the gym. I was very small, weak and thin so I wanted to put on some good muscle. When I was lifting for a few months I began using creatine which is a supplement that increases muscle strength.
I still don’t know why, but when after I started taking the creatine I got struck by these terrible experiences called sleep paralysis. If you have never heard of it, do a YouTube search.
Sleep paralysis is way more terrifying than a regular nightmare. Some people thought that sleep paralysis was a form of Satanic possession, which I can fully understand. In my case I would wake up in the middle of the night or early in the morning.
I would feel my body but I could not move it. At the same time a voice which sounded like some kind of demon would scream into my ear. If I tried to lift my head it was pushed down and the demon voice would be even louder and angrier. The more I resisted the worse it got.
The first couple of times were absolutely terrifying. You are not really dreaming because you are aware of everything that is happening, even that you are lying in bed, but you are not completely awake either: you are not in control of your body and still surrendered to a wild imagination.
After a while I found out that if I would relax, that it would stop faster. And what usually happened afterwards was this: the demon would go away and I would be free and aware do to what I like in the dream world. In other words: the paralysis was a portal to a lucid dream.
As opposed to sleep paralysis, lucid dreaming is a fantastic experience. I have experimented with it in the past, and tried to extend the periods of time I was in a lucid state. Because many times they were very short experience. As soon as I realized I was lucid dreaming I got so excited that I would quickly wake up
Other times I would be lucid but unable to visualize the dream and be wandering around blindly, which was kind of boring. Also, eating certain foods help to induce lucid dreams which I experimented with as well, but I have completely forgotten what worked and what didn´t. I believe that when I started going to college I lost interest.
But sleep paralysis still happened from time to time. In fact: it happened very recently. But I know what it is and I don’t really care anymore, and it still turns into a lucid dream from time to time. I hope that answered your question.
Now, let´s go to the main topic!
It looks like we are going to get a very educational lecture from a strong, independent woman again, about all the things that are wrong with men (see below).
Amy Horton is the power lady that has taken the effort to tell us men what we should do to date her. So, men, do you have what it takes sweep Amy off her feet? Are you good and worthy enough to date her? Well, let’s find out!
Amy starts her lecture by saying this:
“Maybe I just care too much, but it astounds me how many men out there seem to have no interest in getting a woman to like them. Or at least, that’s what their behavior suggests. I don’t ask for much, but if you want to get with me, you’re at least going to have to do these basic things…”
Okay, here they come:
“Show interest, talk to me, call me, ask me out, shut up about yourself, show me some respect, think of interesting dates, compliment me, treat me well, consider my feelings, understand that I´m worth it, show me care, try your best, challenge me, connect with me. “
Amy gives an explanation of every one of them. I´m not going get into every one of them, but some of them are worth talking about. Let’s just start with the first one, which is ´Show interest´.
She says and I quote:
“It seems like a no-brainer, but apparently that’s not the case. It’s insane how few guys even initiate conversation or try at all in the beginning. It’s like they figure there’s always something better around the corner, so whatever. Either pursue me and make your intentions clear or get away from me.”
Well, here is the thing. It is been made very clear by #METOO that women do not want to be approached anymore, unless you are Chad, Tyrone or one of their handsome, popular, rich friends.
This means that men rather spend their time playing video games, making love to Dominique, the Thick Big Ass Sex Doll with a H-Cup which was the most popular sex doll of 2018 at siliconwives.com (no, I´m not an affiliate) and pursuing hobbies and passions that do not pose a risk of being accused of stalking or harassment
Risks aside, many men are simply afraid of being rejected in a mean way which happens a lot. If you don’t meet certain standards many women see it as an insult that you even dare to approach her.
The problem with this is that, many times, this is quite random. If you are a hideous guy, it is very likely that you get that treatment often. But if you are average, and the majority is, and you take care of yourself, wear decent clothes, are friendly, you can approach a woman who is a 7 and handles that approach as an insult and five minutes later you approach another 7 who you will take home that night.
So, I agree with PUA on this one: it is mostly a numbers game. To get there you will have to face a lot of rejections and plain meanness from women. Not every guy is that thick skinned. Or could it be that many men nowadays think that the juice is not worth the squeeze?
Also, I think that dating apps have made people lazy. When I was younger and you went to a bar or something like that, that was THE moment that you could score.
If you picked up a girl for example you just added her on MSN messenger afterwards and planned the next date from that point. But the initial contact always started face-to-face.
In these times many men are just swiping away on Tinder and completely unlearned to approach women in real life. And sometimes I think: why should I even approach a woman in a bar when she has a hundred Tinder matches in her pocket?
After that she talks about men have to call her if they want a date and ask her out, which I actually agree on.
Then she says that men should shut up about themselves during a date:
“You finally get to a first date, and he spends the entire time jabbering away about his own life and problems. I didn’t sign up to be your therapist, dude. Reality check: this doesn’t show how open and vulnerable you are. It shows how narcissistic, self-absorbed, and insecure you are. I want to get to know you, obviously, but we’re never going to work out if you don’t spend some time listening to me, too.”
Of course you don’t want to hear about his life because you want to talk about your life. Well, that is narcissistic too, isn’t it?
Maybe the man who talks too much about himself IS insecure because of the high standards that are put on men nowadays. If you see the demands of some women these days I can see that that makes the average Joe very insecure.
Recently I heard about a female co-worker (you guessed it: strong, independent career woman, 30 years old and single) that she cannot find a man but wants a guy with AT LEAST a master’s degree. This sounds ridiculous already, but it really is covert way to say: I want a guy with a master’s degree who makes at least the same amount of money as me.
Her 30 years old friend works at a company and told me that not even 1 guy at that company even comes close to her standards. We are talking about a company with hundreds of people. I mean… what the hell are these women looking for?
Anyways, let´s look at the next one: show some respects. Alright. Here it comes:
“I am a strong and independent woman. I don’t want a guy to be intimidated by me. I do want a man to respect me as an equal and treat me as such. My independence definitely doesn’t mean you get to abandon your manners and courtesy. I want someone who still opens doors, pulls out chairs, and gets up on the subway to give an older person his seat. No respect, no date.”
Okay, so you don’t want a man who is intimidated by you, but you want a servant. Look, if you are so strong and independent: who don´t you open that door and pull out that chair yourself?
It’s like letting everyone know how rich you are all the time, but demand others not to abandon their manners and courtesy, in other words, you want them to pay for you. Let us see what more Amy has to say.
“If you’ve actually talked to me and taken some time to get to know what I like, you can do better than the overdone “dinner and a movie” date. If you haven’t, I don’t want to go out with you anyway. When I plan our dates, I’m going to be creative, and I expect the same from you.”
It gets even better.
“Compliment me. Strong, independent women still want to be complimented. Every woman likes hearing that she’s pretty, funny, intelligent, and wonderful. This problem baffles me more than anything else. It’s so easy to pay a compliment, and yet most men simply don’t bother. “
And to wrap this topic up, one last quote:
“Understand that I´m worth it. I can’t date any more men who don’t put in any effort. I know that I’m worthy of a great guy, and it drives me crazy that so many jerks don’t see it. Obviously they aren’t the right men for me, but I’m so tired of waiting around for one who is. When is someone going to man up and decide he wants me for his own?”
Well, well. And while women keeping hoping that prince charming comes around the corner until they are fifty and surrounded by four to ten cats, I am going my own way again.
Have a great weekend!