Oh my. My beloved magazine Bolde treated me with a fantastic article this week. In this article an angry woman writes an open letter to a man who rejected her, because she is too fat! What a close-minded asshole.
Today we are going to talk about the double standards that I have witnessed so often. The article in Bolde is written by a woman called Emma who is either overweight or obese – something she doesn’t mention. She is basically shaming the man that rejected her because he thought she is too fat.
Well, well. Let’s dive in. Emma says:
I’ve dealt with plenty of judgment about my weight over the years, but having a guy who seemed to be into me at first only to tell me that I’m “a little too fat for [him]” when things got real was slightly mind-blowing.
As we men have been mass swallowing the red pill last years finding out that, generally, as a man your sexual market value depends on looks, status and resources. That’s quite a bitter pill to swallow if you’re raised with the idea that being a nice guy is the way to get the poon.
So it think now it’s your turn to learn some harsh realities about men and dating. Despite the fact that we are living in the age of #METOO and Fat Acceptance, men, generally, do not fall for fat and obese women. And if you think that I’m talking some misogynistic crap that I pulled out of my ass and feel offended by this; I’ve got news for you.
In 2017 a study published on science journal PeerJ shows the preferences of men when it comes to women and their amount of body fat. The research for this study was conducted in the following countries: Austria, Lithuania, the UK, China, Iran, Mauritius, Kenya, Morocco, Nigeria and Senegal. This means we have a nice diversity her when it comes to race and culture.
This study titled “The relationship of female physical attractiveness to body fatness” tells us that men prefer lower body fat in women down to a BMI of 19.
Greater body fatness might reflect greater potential to survive famines, but individuals carrying larger fat stores may have poor health and lower fertility in non-famine conditions.
So don’t get angry at me, get angry at the facts. And getting angry at the facts is quite a stupid thing to do, don’t you think?
A butthurt woman called Rosemary Donahue does not agree. In an article in the magazine Allure she writes:
Okay, so not only do men apparently prefer women thinner and younger, they also prefer women who are borderline underweight (according to the standard of BMI used in this study)? This is another toxic idea to perpetuate, and it’s here that we have a responsibility to talk about the immense pressure studies like this (and the way we talk about them) puts on women.
Another toxic idea? I don’t think so. It’s as toxic as reality. Fat acceptance is the true toxic idea, because it’s promoting poor health. So no matter how much you complain, demand or feel entitled; I’m afraid this is the way it is.
Anyway. Emma says:
I understand everyone has their personal tastes and I’m not everyone’s cup of tea but you seemed to love hanging out with me until I was ready to take things to the next level. WTF?
Well, I think you have encountered a so called chubby chaser. These men come in different forms. Some chubby chasers just want to be with a fat woman, which is fine. I mean, hey: for each its own. Other chubby chasers just like to get laid by a fatty but will never bring one home. So, they just like to use you for hanky-panky. Maybe they love it when you sit on their face? Or they like to put on their goggles and take a deep dive in search for your holy clam. Sounds like a great adventure.
The fact that my weight was the singular deal breaker in our potential relationship tells me pretty much everything I need to know about you. You’re shallow and superficial and are willing to let my physical appearance override all of the other qualities you claimed to love about me.
Well, I’m short. And I live among the tallest people on the planet. I’ve been told that I’m “too short” very often by women. Does that make those women shallow and superficial? According to your reasoning, I guess it does. Especially because I can’t do anything about it.
Or could it be personal taste? Or perhaps a natural instinct that height also points to strength to a certain extent? Just like the way obesity points to bad health, laziness and low self-care?
I think that despite the fact I’m short, I’m stronger than most of my taller friends when it comes to lifting weight. But in the end: I won’t get any taller. If that’s a dealbreaker, then that’s a dealbreaker. Can’t do anything about it and I can’t force someone to be attracted to me, can I?
You, on the other hand, could start losing weight by dieting and exercise. Why aren’t you doing that? Nah, instead, you decide to get angry at the guy that doesn’t want to have a relationship with you.
Look. I’m not going to cry, moan, blame and shame when some woman rejects me because of the way I look. I’m not entitled to that woman. But you seem to feel entitled to that man.
I won’t lie and say that physical attraction isn’t important but I loved your sense of humor and your apparent intelligence so much that I wasn’t all that bothered that you weren’t my standard type physically. You’re not exactly Brad Pitt and I find that charming, but the fact that you could judge me so harshly when you’re not physically perfect either is kinda ridiculous.
Shaming language. That’s just low. So because you have accepted the fact that he doesn’t look like Brad Pitt, he should accept your fatness? That sounds like a covert contract. This means that you have made a deal with him without him even being aware. You secretly exchanged your tolerance for the fact that he doesn’t look like Brad Pitt for his acceptance for your fatness.
Oh and by the way: there is quite a difference between not looking like “Brad Pitt” or not being your “standard type physically” or “physically perfect” and being a land whale.
He’s not judging you; he is just saying that you’re too fat for his taste. Get over it. Man up. Oh wait… that’s what women would say. Never mind.
Later on in the article, Emma claims that beauty has nothing to do with the number on the scale.
I wouldn’t be any more beautiful at 120 pounds than I am at 250. Just as the number on the scale doesn’t determine my self-worth,
Well, good for you.
It doesn’t determine how beautiful I am. You may not see that beauty but there are plenty of people who do. Maybe you’re just blind.
In that case, there are plenty potential partners for you. Why are you so upset then?
Seriously, I’m a catch. I’m kind, smart, funny and I have a big heart.
Well, that’s something that actually sounds plausible. But go on.
I’d be a wonderful girlfriend to a guy who was up to the task of being a great boyfriend to me in return. Just because you find my weight to be a turn-off doesn’t mean every other guy will.
She ends the article by saying this and I quote:
I guess you’ll never know what you could have had—I’ll save it for a guy who knows how to appreciate what he has in front of him.
Well, good luck finding that guy then! And if you can’t find one, remember: it’s probably not just your weight that might be the problem. It’s your attitude. You are just butthurt because of a man who thinks you are below his standards to start something serious with. Be happy that he is honest. I thought honesty was such an important trait?
Anyways, guys, I thought this was a good example of the way many of today’s women think. The demand us to accept them for who they are, no matter if they’re 250 pounds, and it’s a crime if we don’t. A study however proves that men from 10 different countries prefer a slender woman over a fatty. And apparently that’s a crime.
The things is that we men are expected to accept it and take it, when women reject us for being ugly, poor, unsuccessful, short, or whatever is deficient about us. Society has no problem when a woman says anything bad about a man’s height, social status and yes, even about HIS weight. But when a man says anything about a women’s weight… oh wow. All hell breaks loose.
Double standards gentlemen, double standards. And you know what? The best things you can do is just shrug your shoulders, laugh about it, and stop giving a f*ck.
So while these 250 pound land whales are blaming men for not being attracted to them, and demanding us to accept them for who they are, I just turn my back and go my own way again.
Have a great weekend! Merry Christmas and enjoy the holidays!